SnappingTurtle 2 GoldTales RJSmiuley

Snapping Turtles Fighting For Breading Rights – NO VIAGRA NEEDED!

This breading rights battle was something to witness.

Senior golfers many times feel like dinosaurs.  Like most dinosaurs, senior golfers know we are going extinct.  We hit the ball shorter… and shorter, we move slower… and slower.  We don’t see or hear like we once did.  Truth is, if we were living in the wild the lions would have already eaten us.  But on this day in June several foursomes of Senior Tour Players witnessed the battle of modern day dinosaurs for the right to mate and carry on their genes.  NO VIAGRA NEEDED!!

Modern day (Common) Snapping Turtles have changed little in 250 million years.  The adaptable creatures continue to prosper in almost every river, lake and swamp in North America.  These creatures can live 100 years and continue to grow throughout their lives.  They can grow as large as 45 lbs.  Their first cousin the Alligator Snapping Turtle, which is found in the Southeastern United States, are larger and even more pre-historic looking with three distinct ridges on their shell and a much larger mouth.     

The Minnesota Golf Association’s Senior Tour, a nomadic collection of competitive golfers age 55 or older, was enjoying the hospitality of lake-laden, Indian Hills Golf Club.  As the group waited for the green to clear on the tee of the par-3 sixth, the golfer, who’s wife had obviously selected his matching royal blue outfit, said, “hey, what is that in the water just in front of the green?  There seems to be a lot of splashing and thrashing going on.”  

“Where?”  Slurred the guy, with the stub of a cigar held in his teeth, as he shaded his eyes by placing both hands around the bill of his Senior Tour hat.  

“Probably just a muskrat.  See, all the action has stopped,”  said the impatient player with the honor.

The group hit their shots to the green and proceeded along the cart path to the drop area where two additional shots were hit.  As they looked over their putts, cigar breath shouted, “shit!  Will you look at those monsters.”  As two large snapping turtles boiled to the surface hissing, rolling, kicking and snapped at each other not more than 10 feet into the water.  

“Ah, they are just making babies.”  Chuckled the, hen pecked, blue clad golfer.  

“If that is the way they make love, no wonder they have those shells,” cigar breath said grinning around his stubby companion.  

“They are in a battle for the breeding rights in this pond,” said the studious looking guy with the round glasses and the Dave Pelz, sombrero.  “The biggest and meanest guys get the breeding rights.  If you ever see one on land, it is probably a female looking for a place to lay her eggs.  They are like alligators, the male and female babies are determined by the temperature of the soil where the eggs are laid.”

“Enough of that biology lesson. Let’s play golf,” said cigar breath.  But he was the golfer who shouted across the water to the following group, “Hey take a look at the snapping turtles fighting for breeding rights with all the females in this pond.” 

Imagine, 250 million years of breeding battles!  Check out this YouTube video to see them in action: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBJGa0pqlHU

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