Horses running GolfTales RJSmiley

Mustang Stampede, A Golf Course Disaster

Twenty-eight sharp horses' hoof carved massive divots with each frantic leap as seven horses raced across the beautifully manicured green.

As the pre-dawn sky turned from grey to muted pink, the small herd of horses began to stir from their standing sleep. These 7 horses, of various sizes and colors, had found freedom from the small muddy corral they shared, when their owner, Wetch, accidentally left the corral gate unlatched after the evening feeding. The equine explorers casually strayed into the woods adjoining the corral and then discovered nature’s utopia, a huge green meadow of lush tender grass. 

These claustrophobic horses, who lived their life in a corral, had only seen lush grass like this on the rare occasion when Wetch or his family had chosen to take a short ride; they only tasted this sweet green fodder when they were allowed to nibble for a minute or two in a ditch along the road. 

As the brightening glow in the eastern sky became a huge orange sphere, water droplets on the freshly irrigated turf shimmered like diamonds. The rapid putt-putt-putt of the triplex greens mower did not disturb the peacefully grazing animals.  But, this Rocco, the short little mower operator with the beer-gut, was jolted from his hangover-induced stupor with a never before scene. He failed to make the quick turn and the mower scalped a path into the green’s collar. Processing the scene, 

Rocco was taking a long pull on his ever-present cigarette when Wetch crashed onto the fairway mounted on his 4-wheeler. When he spotted his escaped hoofed brood, Wetch twisted the throttle and the powerful machine leaped forward, wheels spinning, throwing chunks of soft sod into the morning air.  

As he approached the herd, speed increasing every second, they broke like a covey of quail. The horses bolted in a panicked stampede and Wetch almost flipped his motorized horse in a tight turn and the lugged tires on the powerful machine ripped more huge divots from the bluegrass fairways.

The stampeding animals flew straight down the beautifully manicured fairway and across the 15th green as their freshly shoed hoofs left 28 moon shaped craters with every frantic leap. As Wetch pulled up to the stallion leading the stampede, he swerved right to head him off but the stallion changed direction like a barrel racer and headed back across the green and up the fairway. The herd scattered as they encountered the wide-eyed Rocco who was chasing this Keystone Cops movie traveling as fast as the triplex would go.  

The exercise-starved horses, in no condition to run at stampede speed, were slowing as their rib cages heaved for air. One by one they stopped, too tired to run another step, as Wetch drove up and slowly began slipping a rope over their drooping heads.

Rocco headed straight for the maintenance barn to tell the story of the stampede down the 15th fairway. Before Wetch had all of his herd captured the superintendent and several members of his staff arrived and assisted in the capture of the last three exhausted animals. Wetch was pissed; he wanted to blame Rocco for causing the stampede and wondered who was going to pay for his horses if any of them died from exhaustion. The superintendent surveyed the disaster scene on the green and fairway caused by the animals and Wetch’s 4-wheeler, and immediately called the local Sheriff before the crime scene was cleared.

To add to the chaos, LeRoy, the local Deputy Sheriff who lived on the course, came speeding onto the golf course with siren blaring and red and blue lights flashing just in time to get between the Superintendent and Wetch who were now standing nose to nose, with fists clinched, cussing at each other. 

Several months later the golf course owner got a judgment against Wetch for damages done to the course by the horses and the 4-wheeler. It took several weeks for the green to heal, but the bad blood between the superintendent and Wetch created by the stampede never healed! 

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