Apps, Apps And More Golf Apps

It seems like I get an offer each day for at least one new golf app. This version of The Psychic Sees The Future discusses golf apps.

Saturday night, after a tough day on the golf course, the Psychic is replaying his round. Six fairways hit. Seven GIR. Thirty-four putts. No wonder he had 87. No score on any hole worse than a double bogie. No equitable stroke adjustment. The Psychic would have to post the ugly 87.

The Psychic grabs his cell phone and clicks the USGA GHIN app. He taps “POST A SCORE.” He taps the name of his local muni and proceeds to post 42 – front 9, 45 – back 9, 87. 

But the thing that really irked the Psychic is the fact that because he had the high score (among his foursome) this week he was responsible for booking the tee time for next Saturday. For the past 18 years, the golfer who posted the high score, on Saturday, was assigned the task of booking the tee time for next week’s game.

Tuesday morning the Psychic would have to rise early to secure the coveted 8:00 – 8:30 AM tee time for next Saturday. Oh well he thought, “I can just click the golf course app online and book it any time after 7:00 AM, 5 days in advance.” 

As the Psychic is reviewing the number of fairways hit, greens in regulation and three putts, he was reminded of a guy in his group who just added an app that lets him track his shots during a round. “At the end of my round I could see if I improved or got worse in each critical scoring area.”

The Psychic had a flash. In the last two minutes he had used or planned to use a golf app for: Recording a score for his handicap. Booking an advanced tee time. Now I am going to add an app to help me record personal stats. Where will golf apps go from here?

With his mind racing, the Psychic is subconsciously transported to the comfort of his study where the crystal ball rests on a small round antique oak table. As he removes the chamois cover the Psychic shines the sphere to improve the clarity. Before he is seated, the Psychic is searching for golf apps of the future. How will they work? What will golf apps tell golfers? Will golf apps change the wonderful old game?

In the depth of the crystal, the Psychic sees a golf course in the future. He enters the beautifully maintained property in an atomic powered vehicle programed by voice command and automatically driven to the course. As he finishes the last trace of breakfast, a toasted bagel and cantaloupe, pineapple and yogurt smoothy, his personal transportation device (PTD) glides to a smooth halt. Three days earlier, the Psychic had booked his tee time on the golf course app with a simple voice command. He had ordered breakfast with an advanced version of Alexa. Breakfast was waiting, in fully disposable thermal containers as he left home.

The door of his PTD swings open as the Psychic exits. The covering on the vehicle’s storage area, containing his golf clubs, opens as a small silent hover craft, that serves as a combination golf cart and caddie, arrives. No need to enter the pro shop, his greens fee has been paid automatically, and the cart/caddie had been programed to recognize him upon entry. 

The cart/caddie transports the Psychic to the range where he alerts his personal communication device (once called a cell phone) to the latest golf coaching app. A few stretches and he is ready to fine tune his swing. The Psychic knows that current golf rules do not allow computerized swing path technology to be used during the round. He is working on muscle memory to groove the proper swing path. He checks ball position then begins has backswing. A mild vibration is felt is his left knee as he stops in mid swing. He resets, as the swing coach app speaks to him through EarPods, “Your swing must start with a slight flex of your left knee to insure a proper body rotation.” On to the putting green. The putting improvement app assists in line-up and full putter release through the stroke.

The Psychic greets his playing companions as the app programed, un-manned, fairway mower passes silently past. With a good drive to the right center of the fairway the Psychic mounts his cart/caddie and floats to his golf ball. “Fine drive,” the Alexa voice of the caddie says. Your drive was 237 yards, and you have 152 yards to a back left flagstick location. The wind is quartering into you from the left at 6 to 8 mph. The shot plays 157 yards. The hole is cut on a down slope and the ball will release a few extra yards. Play a shot to carry 148 yards. That distance is normally an 8-iron. With the distance gained from the improved swing, hit the 9-iron.

As the Psychic pulls away from the crystal ball, he quickly removes his turban. “Is all this technology really necessary? Do we really need all these apps to tell us everything? I think I like things exactly where they are today?”

As he is replacing the chamois cloth over the crystal ball, the Psychic hears a voice from within the magic sphere, “Your parents liked dial telephones. Their parents, your grandparents, were happy talking to the operator to place a phone call.” 

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